Things I
Learned from Watching House of Dark
Shadows
1.
When a cousin from England comes to visit and he doesn't have an
English accent, be suspicious.
2. When said cousin's visit coincides with vicious attacks around the
area, be suspicious.
3. He's a Professor for a reason: if said cousin knows no one in
Cadogen Square, where he lives, be suspicious.
4. In Case of Emergency: carry around a stake, a cross, and a bottle of
holy water. (Garlic optional)
5. The greatest evil? A ten-year old boy without supervision.
6. However, said ten-year olds are smarter than you think. If he says
that Cousin Caroline has come back from the dead, and other creepy
things are happening, believe him.
7. There is something to be said for cremation.
8. Silver bullets are for werewolves, Sheriff. But, you can never be
too careful. Next time. Next time.
9. Governesses are always vulnerable to rakes, rogues, and weirdos. Try
another line of work.
10. Know the secret passages in your own home.
11. Never go snooping around. You never know what you'll find.
12. Tear down all unused buildings on your property, as they'll only
hide vampires, werewolves, witches, and gypsies.
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